23 JANUARY 2024
This resource is brought to you by the ADHD Foundation Neurodiversity Charity. Explore top tips on supporting a child who becomes overwhelmed by their big feelings, which can be a difficult time for us to offer our support to them as they are struggling to regulate.
It can be really upsetting when our children become overwhelmed by their big feelings and often a difficult time for us to offer our support to them as they are struggling to regulate their emotional response. Here are some stress response tips that you might find useful to support your child.
Distraction is key
Early on in behaviour, before your child loses control, techniques in distraction may be useful. Redirecting your child’s attention to focus on something new may be helpful to change the direction of the behaviour.
Use emotion coaching techniques
Validating your child’s feelings using emotion coaching statements may support your child to feel understood. For example, you could try naming and labelling their emotions, such as “I think that you are feeling anxious.” This will help them develop the language they need to express how they are feeling.
Be selective with the language you use
Reduce language to reduce the stress load for your child. If you give your child too many commands or directions, it may cause more overwhelm or distress. Give simple, clear instructions when they are showing signs of overwhelm.
Allow time for your child to self calm
Similarly to adults, children need time to decompress and regulate before returning to the task at hand. Allow time for your child to regulate and return to a calmer state before asking of any demands. if needed, offer a relaxation technique to support regulation
Keep calm
Be sure to maintain a calm tone of voice and acknowledge their feelings “I can see that you got angry and now you’re feeling upset.”
Help children understand their behaviour
Label the child’s behaviour, however, it is important not to label the child. For example, if you noticed they are acting aggressively, you could say "Do you feel frustrated? Your behaviour indicates you might be feeling..." When appropriate, explain the consequences to the child’s actions.
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