15 SEPTEMBER 2026
Masking is when a child or young person hides, suppresses or camouflages aspects of themselves to fit in, avoid standing out, or prevent others from noticing their difficulties. While masking is often discussed in relation to ADHD, many children may conceal aspects of themselves for a range of reasons, including anxiety, depression, bullying, difficulties at home, sexuality, or gender identity. Although masking can help a young person navigate certain situations, it can be mentally and emotionally exhausting and may impact wellbeing over time.
What is masking?
For children and young people, masking might involve attempting to conceal challenges with attention, memory, organisation, impulsivity or movement. Many children mask because they want to fit in, avoid standing out, or prevent others from noticing that they are struggling. This can be especially common during adolescence, when awareness of peer opinions and the desire to belong become particularly strong.
The gender differences
Much of the public conversation around masking has focused on girls and young women. However, while boys may mask differently, it is important that professionals, parents and carers recognise that masking can occur across all genders and may present in a variety of ways. Developing a better understanding of how different children mask is essential if we are to identify needs early and provide appropriate support.
Why do children mask?
Children and young people may mask for several reasons:
To avoid stigma or negative attention.
To fit in with peers.
To avoid criticism or rejection.
To reduce feelings of embarrassment.
To prevent adults from noticing their difficulties.
A key factor discussed was Rejection Sensitive Dysphoria (RSD), a heightened sensitivity to criticism, rejection or perceived failure that is commonly associated with ADHD. Children who have repeatedly received negative feedback throughout their lives may become particularly anxious about making mistakes or being judged. For these young people, masking can become a protective strategy designed to avoid situations where they might feel criticised or excluded.
When masking becomes automatic
An important discussion point was that masking is not always a conscious choice. Over time, some individuals become so accustomed to hiding aspects of themselves that the behaviour becomes automatic. This can make masking difficult to identify, both for the individual and those around them. Some children may not even realise they are masking because it has become such an established part of how they interact with the world.
What does masking look like?
Masking does not always fit the stereotypical image of a quiet child sitting at the back of the classroom. It can present in many ways, including:
Constantly seeking reassurance.
Excessive worrying.
Carefully copying the behaviour of peers.
Over-preparing or over-organising.
Suppressing physical movement or fidgeting.
Avoiding participation in case of making mistakes.
Becoming a "people pleaser" who agrees with others to avoid conflict.
Some children become highly skilled at compensating for their difficulties. For example, they may create rigid routines, arrive excessively early, or develop detailed organisational systems to manage challenges that others cannot see.
The impact of masking
Although masking may help a child cope in the short term, it often comes at a significant cost. Maintaining a mask requires considerable emotional, cognitive and physical energy. When so much effort is spent hiding difficulties, there is less capacity available for learning, social interaction and emotional wellbeing.
Masking can contribute to:
Increased anxiety and stress.
Emotional exhaustion.
Difficulties with mental health.
Delayed identification and diagnosis.
Misunderstandings between home and school.
Many families describe a child who appears settled and successful in school but becomes distressed, exhausted or dysregulated once they return home. This difference in presentation is often a significant indicator that masking may be taking place.
How to support children who mask
Celebrate neurodiversity
One of the most powerful messages for children is that there is nothing wrong with them. ADHD, autism and other neurodivergent profiles are simply part of the natural variation in how human brains work. By promoting positive, strength-based conversations about neurodiversity, parents, carers and schools can help reduce the pressure children feel to hide who they are.
Offer support proactively
Rather than waiting for children to ask for help, support should be available and visible from the outset. When support is normalised and offered to everyone, children who are masking may feel safer accessing it without fear of standing out.
Reduce anxiety
Because masking is often linked to anxiety, helping children develop self-regulation skills can be beneficial. Strategies may include:
Deep belly breathing.
Grounding exercises.
Emotion coaching.
Predictable routines.
Opportunities for movement and sensory regulation.
Build on strengths and interests
Children with ADHD often thrive when engaged with activities that genuinely interest them. Encouraging hobbies, talents and areas of passion help build confidence, competence and resilience, which can protect wellbeing in other areas of life.
Keep the conversation open
Talking openly about masking can help children recognise it in themselves and understand why it happens. Creating safe opportunities for discussion allows young people to share their experiences without fear of judgement. Strong communication between home and school is equally important. Sharing observations and concerns can help ensure that support reflects the child's experience across different environments.
A balanced perspective
The webinar concluded with an important reflection: while masking can have negative consequences, some individuals describe aspects of masking as having helped them navigate environments that felt challenging. Experiences differ, and there is no single story that applies to everyone. What remains essential is that children and young people feel accepted, understood and supported. By increasing awareness of masking and creating environments where neurodiversity is recognised and valued, we can help children thrive without feeling the need to hide who they are.
Watch our video
Here, Colin Foley, CEO of Neurodiversity Training UK, shares practical strategies and advice to help you better understand masking, recognise the signs, and support your child to feel accepted, understood and confident in being themselves.