Supporting Neurodivergent Children With Routines In The Holidays

School provides children with structured environments,  where they know where they need to be, what they need to do, and how to behave. In contrast, holiday time is often much less structured, which can feel overwhelming. 

Plan and visualise the holiday

Providing information about what’s going to happen can make a big difference. Let your child know who will be there, how long the activities will last, and what to expect during each activity. Many parents find visual supports helpful, such as a calendar on the wall showing each day’s plans. For example, you might explain, “This day is a quiet day where we can choose what happens,” or “This day we’re going to visit granny and granddad,” or “This day we’re going to the zoo.”

By planning ahead and foreseeing potential challenges, you can schedule breaks or enjoyable activities immediately after more demanding events. For instance, if a visit to grandparents might be overwhelming, follow it with a quiet activity, such as a cinema trip or a chill day at home, so your child can decompress.

Spread activities out

It can be tempting to pack the holidays with as many fun activities as possible, but for many neurodivergent children, spacing out activities works better. Alternating more challenging events with relaxing or enjoyable activities helps them manage their emotions.

Provide clear timelines

Visual timetables are useful for children of all ages. Younger children might benefit from a poster or calendar, while older teens could use a shared Google Calendar. Knowing what is happening and when can reduce anxiety and help them feel more in control.

Prepare them for new experiences

If you’re going somewhere new, try to provide information in advance:

• Share photos of where you will be visiting
• Read about the place you're going to be visiting
• Explain what the experience will involve

Answering questions ahead of time can reduce uncertainty and anxiety.

Have a back up plan

Travel delays, closed cafés, or unexpected changes can be unsettling, so it’s important to let your child know there are backup plans. For example, you might say, “If the train is delayed, we can do this instead,” or, “If the café doesn’t have your favourite dish, we can try a different one.” Choosing predictable environments, such as chain restaurants, can help reduce uncertainty while still allowing opportunities for new experiences.

Model calm behaviour

Your reaction sets the emotional tone. For example, if a journey takes longer than expected, approach it calmly by saying, “Our holiday is lasting a little longer; let’s play the rainbow car game on the way.” Demonstrating flexible thinking and calm problem-solving helps your child learn to adapt to changes.

Make time tangible

For children with ADHD or time blindness, it can help to explain how long an activity will last by comparing it to something familiar. For example, you might say, “Visiting grandparents will take the same time as three school break times,” or, “The train journey will last as long as three episodes of your favourite cartoon.” This approach helps them anticipate what’s coming and reduces the dreaded question “Are we there yet?”

Emphasise flexibility

Reinforce that while you have a plan, there’s always room to adjust if needed. This teaches resilience and helps your child feel secure even when things don’t go exactly as expected.

By planning ahead, providing clear information, building in downtime, and modelling calm flexibility, you can help your neurodivergent child navigate the holidays more comfortably. Thoughtful preparation not only reduces stress.