Neurodiversity, Puberty & Hygiene

Puberty and hygiene often go hand in hand, and for many families, this stage brings a mix of confusion and learning. Most parents can share a story about a teenager who avoids the bathroom entirely, spends far too long in the shower, or suddenly seems unaware of basic hygiene routines. These experiences are incredibly common and are part of a much bigger picture of physical, emotional, and developmental change.

Understanding what is driving these behaviours is the first step in responding with confidence and compassion.

Understanding hygiene changes during puberty

As children move through puberty, their bodies begin to change in ways that can feel unfamiliar and overwhelming. Increased sweating, stronger body odour, oilier skin, and changes in hair growth can appear earlier than expected, sometimes well before children are socially or emotionally ready to deal with them.

For some children, these changes can start at a younger age than their peers. While their bodies may be developing quickly, their understanding of hygiene and self-care may still be at a much earlier stage. This mismatch can lead to resistance, embarrassment, or avoidance around bathing, showering, and personal care.

Rather than assuming a lack of effort or motivation, it can be helpful to see these behaviours as part of a broader developmental journey.

Preparing children early for body changes

One effective approach is to start conversations about hygiene and body care earlier than we might traditionally expect. Introducing simple, age-appropriate information about skin, hair, and cleanliness can help children feel more prepared when changes begin.

Talking about hygiene as part of health, rather than appearance, often reduces anxiety. Explaining that skin is the body’s largest organ and acts as a protective barrier can help children understand why washing matters. Some children respond particularly well to factual information, which can make hygiene feel logical rather than emotional or overwhelming.

Using visuals, stories, or favourite bath toys can also make the process feel more familiar and less intimidating.

Flexibility in bathing and showering routines

There is no one-size-fits-all approach to hygiene. Some children may avoid bathing altogether, while others may spend long periods in the bathroom. Flexibility is key.

For children who struggle with time awareness, agreed routines such as listening to a piece of music during a shower can provide a clear start and end point. For others, allowing choice, such as whether bath night happens earlier or later, can increase cooperation and reduce conflict.

It’s also important to remember that daily bathing is not essential for every child. Agreeing on what feels manageable and appropriate for your family can help remove unnecessary pressure.

Sensory changes and hygiene preferences

During puberty, sensory systems can become more sensitive and unpredictable. A shampoo or soap that smells pleasant one week may feel overwhelming the next. Using small or travel-size toiletries allows children to experiment without commitment and reduces waste if preferences change.

For children with sensory sensitivities, alternative approaches may be needed. This could mean tolerating a hair towel instead of washing hair, using wipes instead of a full wash, or bathing at different times of day. Thinking creatively and focusing on gradual progress can make a big difference.

Safety, curiosity, and bathroom awareness

As children become more curious and impulsive, it’s important to be mindful of what is accessible in the bathroom. Razors, grooming tools, and products designed for adults can be tempting, especially if children are responding to comments from peers or experimenting with their changing appearance.

Keeping potentially risky items stored safely and having open conversations about grooming can help prevent injuries and misunderstandings.

Involving children in hygiene choices

Taking children with you to choose toiletries, towels, or bath accessories can help them feel more invested in their routines. When children feel heard and involved, hygiene becomes something they do with you rather than something done to them.

Above all, patience and understanding are essential. Puberty and hygiene are part of an inevitable developmental journey, and every child will move through it at their own pace. With flexibility, preparation, and empathy, families can navigate this stage with greater confidence and less stress.

Watch our video

Here, Anne-Marie Harrison, Education Director from Ideas Afresh, explores how to support neurodivergent children and young people as they navigate hormones, puberty and hygiene.