Establishing Structure To Support Routines

Having a routine can have many benefits. In addition to the ones mentioned above, routines can also help to promote, support, and build independence and self-regulation in our children. Skill development is improved due to having to take on a certain amount of responsibility in their own routines, e.g., getting ready for the day and all of the needs that come with this.  An established routine can also lessen the load on executive function, due to them knowing what is happening and what will come next. The need to plan for themselves is removed, and with it, the potential stress.

When it comes to developing a routine, the best place to start is to identify the key activities you want to cater to, e.g., morning routine, evening routine. You can involve your child in the planning of any routines, for example, asking them what preferred comfort item they may want to have, or if there is a certain piece of music they may want to wake up to. By including your child, you can give them a sense of responsibility and feelings of inclusion, like their opinion matters.

Breaking tasks down into simple steps can work best with our neurodivergent children, who may struggle with multistep instructions and try to stick with consistent time frames, e.g., getting up at the same time every day. Allow extra time for diversions as we want to be realistic; not everything always runs to plan.

A lot of our neurodivergent children can also have sensory avoidant or sensory seeking needs, so factoring these needs into our routines can also be beneficial and easily done. Allowing time for movement will also be beneficial for our children who have lots of energy or the need to stim. Overall, though, movement is a necessity for us all, however, routines may run more smoothly and allow for more positive experiences if movement breaks and movement-based activities are factored in, especially in the evening when children may be overstimulated from the day.

Mornings can be tough, and often the way our mornings go can set the tone for the rest of the day. Having to wake up early and get out of our lovely warm comfy beds, to get ready for the day ahead, can be bad enough for any of us; however, for our children who struggle with sensory needs or changes, mornings may be even more of a struggle. The key is often in the consistency and predictability.

A gradual wake-up can be a soothing start to the day. This can be achieved with the use of soft lights and calming music. It’s about creating a nice environment for our children to greet the day with. There are apps that can help with this, and lamps specifically designed to wake people with soothing light. Provide your child with something that they find comforting when they initially wake up. This could be anything, a cuddly toy, a blanket, anything at all, It is more about the comfort it brings them through familiarity than what the item is to help ease the transition into the day.

Sudden transitions can be unsettling and possibly trigger our children. Allowing for extra time in the morning can help ease the stress of transitioning through the steps of getting ready for the day. Think about how long a task would normally take your child, such as having a wash. Then, when adding it to your routine, add in some extra time before and after the task. Not only will this help relieve any potential pressure of a morning, but it will also allow for realistic expectations.

After a long day, our children can sometimes be left feeling overwhelmed, overstimulated, or even overactive. A routine that can help support the transition to nighttime can help not only our children, but us parents too. It is important to calm down after the day's activities because this will allow for much-needed rest and recuperation. It will help to regulate our children’s emotions and nervous systems.

Neurodiverse children can struggle with change at the best of times, let alone after a day of overstimulation. Allowing for sameness of an evening will help create a safe space for our children as they will come to know what to expect; the dysregulating element of surprise is removed. Creating a transitional ritual, such as snack time, followed by either quiet time or a little activity time (depending on the individual needs of the child) before getting down to the nightly routine of bath and bed, can be really beneficial. This timeframe is perfect for setting the tone for the evening and a little reset after the day's activities. It can also allow time for ‘unmasking’ and stimming. Some of our children, unfortunately, spend a lot of their day masking their behaviours in an attempt to ‘fit in’. It is important to allow our children to effectively ‘become themselves’ again, and in turn, this will support the regulation of their emotions after a long day.

Watch this short video for more tips and ideas.