03 MARCH 2026
In this article, we share practical advice and guidance for supporting siblings of children with additional needs. From making time for daily connection and acknowledging complex emotions, to promoting independence and discussing the future.
4 minute read
Make time daily
Siblings value regular time with a parent even if it is only five minutes every day. While planned days out or treats can be great for dedicated sibling time, they need to be seen and heard daily to help them manage the day-to-day issues which crop up when you’re a sibling.
Acknowledge feelings
Siblings need to know that all feelings are OK. It is normal to feel angry, guilty or jealous and they should be encouraged to name these emotions. There should be no shame attached to any feeling and helping siblings understand their emotions will lead to improved mental health over time.
Limit involvement in care
Siblings very often want to be helpful. They see when parents or carers are struggling and want to step in. Although this is to be applauded, it’s often not the best choice for their wellbeing. Try and avoid relying on the them for regular care and seek external support if you are struggling.
Take action educational issues
School can be hard for siblings. The more that pastoral staff know about what life is like at home, the better placed they are to help, so share as much as you can about their home life. Siblings often put their educational needs below the needs of their brothers and sisters. They should be encouraged to prioritise all aspects of their education and academic achievements and see themselves as just as important as their brothers or sisters with additional needs.
Promote independence
A sibling can feel guilty or anxious about living a life which may not necessarily include their brother or sister on a day-to-day basis. Whilst this is understandable, it’s vital to instil a sense of independence and autonomy in them from an early age. They should be actively encouraged to have friends, interests and their own sense of self to ensure future wellbeing.
Discussions from an early age
The information required by siblings change over time. A younger child may be happy with simple answers to straightforward questions. An older child may need more time to process and discuss deeper issues. Always respond to requests for information with clear answers, repeating the question back to the sibling to show that you understand the information they need.
Encourage activities
Siblings are experts in knowing what makes their brother or sister laugh so help them to use this skill by encouraging them to play games together. Simple throw and catch games, drawing activities or outdoor play can help them both bond and appreciate each other.
Provide choice
Siblings need time alone and time with their friends. This is normal and shouldn't be seen as a negative, if they opt to not play a game or go somewhere on a family trip. If possible, a sibling’s request to have respite time away from their brother or sister should be respected and accommodated as a valid choice, promoting good mental health and self-care.
Discuss the future
The future is a scary prospect for siblings. How will their brother or sisters’ health and needs change? Will they be expected to care for them? Will this affect their life plans? As much as possible, involve them in family conversations and plans for the future. Simply acknowledging that parents may not have all the answers but will keep talking to you, is hugely helpful to siblings.
Celebrate achievements
It can be all too easy to see a sibling’s achievements solely in comparison to their disabled brother or sister. However, when they win a prize, has a great day at school or learns a new skill, it’s important to keep the focus solely on them – whatever they have achieved it’s because they are fantastic, purely because they are themselves.