Development of independence and social skills
Autism and ADHD can present challenges with developing skills, which could be due to:
- Delays in fine and gross motor skills
- Difficulty reading and understanding social cues and norms
- Difficulty with attention and focus
- Difficulty with planning, sequencing and problem solving
Approaches and techniques for building independence
Forward and backward chaining
Backward chaining involves the adult completing the first steps of a task while the child finishes the final step, helping them experience success quickly. Forward chaining, on the other hand, allows the child to start the task independently, with support provided when needed, which builds confidence in initiating routines.
Grading the task
Begin with easier tasks and gradually increase the difficulty. For example, practise putting on a loose T-shirt before a tight jumper, or baggy shorts before leggings.
The ‘just right challenge'
Aim for tasks that are achievable; too easy and they will lose interest and motivation, too difficult and it becomes too frustrating, and they are more likely to give up.
Using visuals
Children learn effectively through pictures and songs. You can use picture sequence cards, songs for routines, and storybooks about toileting, dressing, and brushing teeth to support learning.
Modelling behaviour
Children learn by copying others; if they see you doing something, they are going to want to try it.
Bring skills into play
Practice dressing skills through dressing up, cutlery use in play with pretend food.
Ways to encourage independence
Getting dressed
Start with encouraging assistance- pulling trousers down and up, pushing arms through sleeves. Stick to the same pattern. For example, when putting on a top, if they are used to putting their head through, then arms through, keep with this rather than the next time doing arms through then over the head.
Practice dressing dolls
Start with large fastenings on clothing off the body first, before doing it on the body. You can also get dressing boards with different fastenings for children to practice on. Encourage awareness of where labels and seams go to help the child orientate the clothing. If possible, use Velcro shoes until the child can tie shoelaces.
Toileting
Encourage your child to become aware of when they are wet or soiled, as highly absorbent nappies can reduce this awareness; training pants may help with this. Make sitting on the toilet a regular and positive part of the daily routine by creating an enjoyable experience, such as having special toys or books just for toilet time or singing favourite songs. Look for patterns in when your child is most likely to need the toilet, such as after meals, after outdoor play or upon waking, and support them at these times. Offer lots of praise for success and consider using stickers, songs, sounds or even a silly dance to celebrate achievements and encourage repetition. Support independence with wiping by teaching a clear routine of wipe, check and dispose, and choose clothing that is easy to manage, such as drawstring trousers instead of jeans with buttons.
Mealtimes
Provide opportunities to practise pouring, scooping and cutting both during play and at mealtimes, such as allowing your child to pour water from a jug or serve themselves food. Involve them in food preparation by encouraging them to spread their own butter or cut fruit using a child-safe knife with supervision. Keeping their cutlery, plate and cup in an accessible place can further promote independence, supporting them to collect what they need and put items away once they are clean.
Brushing your teeth and hair
Practice on others. This can be with a toy e.g. doll or a parent or family member if they agree. Use a mirror so the child can see what they are doing.
Household tasks
Encourage the child to help with chores around the house. Sweeping/mopping, pairing socks, hanging up laundry, putting away shopping, watering plants. This gives children a sense of importance and boosts self-esteem, having helped with family tasks.
Independence in the community
Involve the child in becoming aware of dangers and ways of being safe out and about; this can include talking through crossing the road and looking for cars, finding pedestrian crossings, and waiting behind the line at train stations. The more you talk through and practice these they will become ingrained as the child becomes older. Involve the child in ordering food/drinks, using money, and locating and retrieving items when food shopping.
The development of social skills
0+ years old - exchanging smiles develops the first social awareness and connections. At this stage, awareness of others is limited; it is mostly about getting their own needs met.
1+ years old - The child is still highly reliant on their main caregiver for meeting their social and emotional needs.
2+ years old - Children start to imitate social skills they observe from caregivers.
3+ years old - Children start realising that society expects certain behaviours and that if they follow these expectations, they are more accepted and praised. Mostly parallel play, children play next to each other but not necessarily interacting with each other.
4+ years old - The ability to take turns is emerging in play. Start of associative play- children playing near each other may begin to chat and mimic each other. At around 4 and a half, cooperative skills can be seen and taking part in team sports with agreed upon rules.
5+ years old - Learning to lose graciously. Even when they don’t succeed or win, children can start to appreciate that, for the benefit of others, they may need to dampen their emotional reactions in social situations.
Ways to develop social skills
Model positive behaviour
Children learn by watching adults. Demonstrate active listening, understanding and respect, e.g. not interrupting, showing interest.
Facilitate playdates and group play
Attend spaces where a couple of children can start to practice sharing, turn taking and resolving conflicts with caregivers being close by to model positive interactions.
Role play
Act out social situations in play like sharing, using socially appropriate language, apologising or responding to something going wrong. This can help teach appropriate responses in real-life situations.
Teach empathy and emotional awareness
Help children to identify feelings in themselves and others. You can talk about book or tv characters and how they might be feeling, and suggest what the child may be feeling in certain situations. Use mirrors to practice facial expressions and what they might mean. Talk through body language and how it can be presented in different situations.
Teach regulation skills
Help the child understand that some things can help them manage their big emotions in a more socially appropriate way e.g. if they feel angry, instead of pushing another child, they can move themselves away to get some space, take deep breaths, or squeeze their fists.
Teach boundaries and personal space
how they can give or decline consent politely, understanding that personal space is like a bubble around us and how it might feel if someone is too close.
Encourage independence in conflict resolution
Discuss conflicts that arise or could happen, and instead of intervening straight away to fix the problem, you could ask ‘what could you do?’ and discuss options.
Discuss friendship qualities
Talk about the qualities that make a good friend, such as patience, kindness, sharing.
