Autism & Girls

Girls can be autistic: challenging a long-standing myth

“Girls can’t be autistic” is a phrase many people still hear today, despite it being simply untrue. Autism does not discriminate by gender, yet outdated assumptions continue to shape how autism is recognised and understood. While more boys are currently diagnosed as autistic, this does not mean fewer girls are autistic. Instead, it reflects long-standing gaps in awareness, assessment, and understanding.

Current figures often cite a ratio of around four boys diagnosed for every one girl. However, this statistic is increasingly seen as misleading. It does not accurately represent the true number of autistic girls, many of whom remain undiagnosed or receive diagnoses much later in life.

Why girls are diagnosed later than boys

One of the key reasons autistic girls are underdiagnosed is timing. Boys are typically identified in early childhood, sometimes even in infancy. Girls, on the other hand, are more likely to receive a diagnosis in late childhood, adolescence, or adulthood.

This delay is often linked to how autism presents differently in girls and how those differences are interpreted. Girls frequently develop strategies to cope with social expectations from a young age, which can make their autistic traits less visible in structured environments such as school.

The role of masking in autism

Masking plays a significant role in delayed diagnosis. Masking refers to the ways autistic people consciously or unconsciously change how they present themselves to appear more socially acceptable. This can include copying peers, suppressing natural behaviours, or carefully managing speech, facial expressions, and interests.

While masking may help autistic girls navigate social situations, it is not a sustainable solution. Maintaining this constant adaptation requires enormous mental effort and is closely associated with stress and emotional exhaustion. Over time, the impact of masking can be profound.

Mental health and missed autism

Autistic girls experience higher rates of anxiety, depression, and eating disorders than their peers. In many cases, these mental health challenges are identified long before autism is ever considered. As a result, girls may receive multiple mental health diagnoses without the underlying neurodivergence being recognised.

This can leave them feeling misunderstood, unsupported, and overwhelmed. Earlier recognition of autism can help provide clarity and ensure support addresses the root cause rather than only the symptoms.

How autism can look different in girls

To recognise autism in girls, it is essential to challenge existing biases. Autistic girls do have special interests, but these often mirror those of their peers. They may enjoy popular music artists, games, or hobbies, yet their intensity of interest and depth of knowledge can be far greater.

Autistic girls also engage in pretend play, which can lead to their autism being overlooked. However, this play is often repetitive, scripted, and based on observed routines. For example, a child may repeat the same caregiving sequence with toys again and again. There is nothing wrong with this type of play, but it can be a subtle indicator that is frequently misunderstood.

Emotionally, girls are more likely to internalise distress. While meltdowns are commonly associated with autism, autistic girls may instead experience shutdowns. These can look like withdrawal, becoming very quiet, or isolating themselves. In some cases, self-harming behaviours may also occur, particularly when emotional overwhelm goes unnoticed.

After the school day ends

Another important sign is the contrast between behaviour at school and at home. Many girls mask throughout the day, appearing to cope well in social and academic settings. When they return home, the effort of masking can result in emotional outbursts, exhaustion, or withdrawal.

Changes in behaviour across environments, ongoing mental fatigue, and persistent mental health difficulties are all important signals that deserve attention.

Supporting and empowering autistic girls

Supporting autistic girls begins with listening and observing. It requires recognising both challenges and strengths. Autistic girls often have exceptional passion, creativity, and depth of knowledge, and these qualities should be celebrated and incorporated into daily life wherever possible.

Creating safe spaces where girls can be themselves without masking is crucial. This may include downtime after social interaction, sensory support, and alternative ways to communicate such as drawing, writing, or using symbols.

Empowerment comes through understanding. When girls learn that being different is not something to hide or fix, but something to be proud of, their confidence can grow. Educating others about the subtle differences between autism in girls and boys helps shift outdated narratives and ensures more girls are recognised, supported, and proud of their neurodiversity.

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