ADHD & Autism: Masking In School

Understanding masking in ADHD and autism

In classrooms across the country, many autistic and ADHD children are working incredibly hard just to appear as though they are coping. This effort is often invisible, but its impact is significant. Known as masking, this experience involves a neurodivergent child constantly adapting their behaviour, communication, and emotional responses to fit what they believe is socially acceptable.

Masking is not a conscious choice. Unlike the everyday adjustments neurotypical people make in different environments, masking is pervasive and exhausting. It requires continuous monitoring of surroundings and self, leaving little space for authenticity or emotional rest.

What masking looks like in the classroom

Masked behaviour can present in many different ways, which is why it is so often misunderstood. A child who masks may appear quiet, compliant, or highly attentive. They might constantly seek reassurance, always putting their hand up to check they are doing the right thing. Others may take on the role of the class clown, exaggerating their responses in an attempt to fit in socially.

Some children become perfectionists, experiencing intense emotional reactions to mistakes. Others are seen as model students who never say no, always meet expectations, and appear to cope effortlessly. On the surface, these behaviours may seem positive, but they often come at a significant emotional cost.

Why children mask

The reasons children mask are deeply personal and shaped by their experiences. Past expectations, reinforcement of certain behaviours, and feedback from adults and peers all play a role. Many children mask because they have experienced bullying, stigma, or negative reactions to their natural ways of communicating and interacting.

There is often a strong desire to fit in and avoid standing out. Over time, children learn which behaviours are accepted and which are discouraged, adjusting themselves accordingly in order to feel safe.

How masking affects behaviour and sensory responses

Masking can involve suppressing natural behaviours such as stimming, altering emotional expression, or changing communication styles. A child may stop reacting to sensory discomfort because they have been told their response is inappropriate or because they notice their peers do not react in the same way.

This might mean staying silent about bright lights, loud noises, or physical discomfort. It can also involve changing appearance, clothing, or even adopting a people-pleasing response, where a child never says no and constantly meets others’ expectations.

Why masking is common in schools

Schools are environments with high levels of sensory input and social demand. They are busy, loud, and structured around expectations that often conflict with the natural communication styles and sensory needs of autistic and ADHD children.

Throughout the school day, children may feel as though they are constantly “holding it together.” By the time they return home, often their safest space, the effort becomes unsustainable.

The after-school release

A helpful way to understand masking is to imagine a bottle that has been shaken all day. When the lid comes off, everything spills out. For many families, this is what happens after school.

Parents may see emotional outbursts, physical dysregulation, extreme exhaustion, or withdrawal. These responses are not signs of poor behaviour at home, but indicators of how much effort the child has used to mask throughout the day.

Masking as a barrier to diagnosis

One of the challenges of masking is that it can obscure a child’s needs in educational settings. Teachers may see a calm, compliant child, while parents experience distress and dysregulation at home. This mismatch can make it harder to identify underlying neurodivergence and delay access to appropriate support.

Creating environments where masking is less needed

Reducing the need to mask begins with understanding that the child is not the problem. Adults can adjust environments, validate experiences, and acknowledge that neurodivergent perspectives are different, not wrong.

Creating safe spaces, proactively supporting sensory needs, and responding thoughtfully when challenges arise can help children feel more secure. Emotional literacy is also key. Naming emotions, supporting attention differences, and adapting learning approaches all reduce pressure.

Incorporating a child’s interests into learning can be especially powerful. When passions are recognised and valued, children feel seen and understood. This sense of acceptance is closely linked to positive wellbeing and reduces the need for children to hide who they truly are.