28 MAY 2025
Once you are confident there are no physical or health concerns influencing toileting, it's a good idea to ensure you are using neurodivergent friendly approaches to supporting positive toileting habits and practices. In this article, Anne-Marie Harrison, Education Director from Ideas Afresh, will explore the differences in the extensive sensory, social, physical and emotional arena of toileting that are likely to influence success in navigating toileting.
5 minute read
Some neurodivergent children are fully and successfully using the toilet in advance of an anticipated age, whilst others may take much longer. In this article, we will look in turn at some of the aspects of toileting that should be considered and conclude by sharing a few tips that have supported successful toileting for some neurodivergent children.
Ensure your child is aware of their body
Any decisions to trial or change the process of supporting toileting success should be done with the knowledge, that your child is aware of urine (wee) and faeces (poo) production, and are able to communicate this. The upmost respect, calmness, sensitivity and patience is imperative.
Establish a routine
Watch your child to see when the toilet is most likely to be needed. Take your child regularly to the toilet and establish a routine of nappy changing or potty use in the bathroom.
Consider the sensory challenges
It may be your child experiences smells and textures in a hypersensitive way, responding to the slightest stimulation of wetness or smell. For these children, having a favourite scented face-cloth or soap on hand can be helpful. Allowing your child to use fresh loo drops and flush themselves are all approaches some families have found helpful.
Others have found a swap from disposable nappies and pull ups to cloth can give stronger sensory feedback and clearer ‘sensation messages’ but this needs to be a sensitive and well-planned change that avoids any risk of humiliation.
For some a very gradual move from nappies to pants is more successful. One family found putting a waistband section of a nappy around their child’s middle whilst on the toilet supported their sensory need to feel as if they were pooing in their nappy. Other families have had success considering the sensation and sound of the toilet water; putting paper in first, agreeing to flush once the child has left. Understanding sensory responses around toileting is a worthwhile starting point.
Familiarity is your friend
These words from Professor Gary Mesibov when talking about autism, were never more relevant and truer for the many aspects associated with toileting. Many children, indeed, many adults, prefer familiarity in their toileting experiences.
Consistency is key
Introduce a toileting schedule at home, that can be used on the move, can be helpful. Check that your child understands the facts around the need and use of the toilet. There are some helpful books but be mindful of literal thinking, processing and communication skills; especially if considering cartoon-style books. “Toilet Training and the Autism Spectrum” by Eve Flemming and Lorraine MacAlister is a clear and helpful guide. “Where Does My Poo Go” Jo Lindley is a helpful book for those children who enjoy facts and information.
Communicating this has prompted successful changes for several families along with a communal family approach, of being very open about toilet use; one even ringing a bell every time anyone went! Others have used a star charts or reward charts. These need to be with caution because they can result in too much attention and create anxiety.
Environment
Considering the physical environment and facilities is important. Do children feel safe, secure, and attended to? Do they require privacy but to know you are there? One family found allowing their child to hold their phone case whilst on the toilet offered security. Another had a bowl of balloons; the action of blowing bears down to assist with passing poo. Other families have used ping-pong balls or wee targets to assist withstanding up and aim. Sometimes taking a novel and light-hearted approach can reduce anxiety and ease any emotional tension that may have inadvertently built up.
Visiting the GP
If you decide the time is right to revisit toileting then remember to firstly do a health check and secondly maintain respect, calm, sensitivity and understanding.
If you have health concerns regarding bowel or bladder it is always wise to contact your GP or health visitor and seek advice. The continence team also offer support and information.
Looking for more advice?
Watch this short video for more ideas and tips.