28 MAY 2025
Mealtimes, expectations, food preferences, sensory experiences, all look unique in every home. The physical environment may need to be considered. Does your child know if, when, and why they need to sit to the table? Would it be ok to stand? Is tonight a TV tea night? All these points require consistent communication and careful navigating. In this article, Anne-Marie Harrison, Education Director from Ideas Afresh, will explore how you can support your child and young person during mealtimes.
Personalising mealtimes
For example, a young boy was able to stand at the table but struggled to sit, as he felt his food would "get stuck." The family decided this was acceptable and introduced a seating plan. This allowed the child to sit at the end of the table and take a break if needed. Thoughtfully considering who sits where and setting realistic expectations can be a positive first step toward creating a more harmonious mealtime experience.
It may be that you agree a child can join the table for dessert rather than last sitting through the whole meal. One family served elements of the meal as different courses so they could have a seat change during dinner, another did this between their dinner and dessert. Moving away from traditional and cultural expectations for all families is a challenge. Agreeing what the priority is; to take on board nutrition? Socialise? Participate? Examine if the mealtime is the right time to achieve all the goals you may have subconsciously set. Consider how you can make the occasion enjoyable rather than simply more tolerable.
Sensory processing
Sensory processing is a huge mealtime contributor. One child was unable to tolerate the noise of people chewing. He ordinarily found ear defenders helpful but at mealtimes it exacerbated the noise of his own chewing. To support him, the family ensured he sat at the end of the table and allowed him quiet breaks whenever he needed. When his anxiety about coping was removed, the family found he was more likely to participate in the meal.
Other sensory factors may be around the environment, music, lighting, crockery and cutlery noises. One family used a picnic set in the house after realising the sound of cutlery on crockery was the trigger for their child not eating. They had noted, he ate well when on his own but wanted him to join them at the table. Another encouraged indoor sunglasses.
Be flexible
Of course, many mealtime concerns are preferences of textures, colours, non-contact of one food to another. Some families find having a self-service or sharing platter and divided plates can be helpful whilst others have had success by creating a white board menu and ensuring some element of the ‘meal of the day’ is a preferred and predictable food.
Get creative
Considering the appearance of how food is presented and the associated smells and textures and draw on what you know about your child. If they are sensitive to smells, ensure you have a napkin or tissue to hand that is sprayed with a smell your child enjoys. Create shapes and images they enjoy. One child would eat hedgehog spikes (sausages) but not sausages!
Helpful resources
The most important point when considering enjoyable mealtimes is to ensure there is a calm, relaxed environment with no pressure on eating. If you have nutrition or eating concerns, then seek advice and support. The NHS outline the 7 symptoms as indicative of eating disorders.
Eating disorders and advice for parents
It is important to be aware of these and seek professional support if you feel it is needed, whilst at the same time, remaining mindful of the neurodivergent differences; some of which we have mentioned above.