How To Make Your Event More Inclusive

Hosting sensory friendly celebrations is primarily about equipping ourselves with knowledge and understanding of the children that are likely to be attending our event. It is key to share information about what is available, what is likely to happen, and where we can access stimulating or calming activities and spaces.

Understanding sensory connections

For some individuals, the sensory system serves as a primary means of connection. In her 2018 documentary Inside My Brain, Charlotte Church highlighted how for certain people, sensory processing, recognition, and memory are deeply intertwined, each depending on and reinforcing the others. One bride at a large traditional wedding shared that her neurodiverse sister did not believe it was really her until she had both smelled her hair and heard her voice. Similarly, a parent once recorded a video of herself getting ready for a fancy dress party after her son had previously refused to get into the car with her when she looked different from what he expected.

Being mindful of these strong connections can help us to navigate and shape inclusive events and experiences. If we are aware of the possible gaps in communication, understanding, and tolerable experiences, we can more easily and readily accommodate for them.

Keeping familiar comforts

One family created a home map to support an inclusive family party. Aware that when furniture was rearranged, decorations put up, their child became disorientated and panicked that their own loved toys and activities would still be there, especially the comfort of his bean bag. Another family made a set of picture cards as a reminder of where their son could access the swings and bounce a ball when not in his own garden. This parent also had a bag she kept in the car with a blow-up ball and bubbles in it. She knew if her son became overwhelmed, ten minutes at the back of the car with these activities helped re-regulate his anxiety levels.

Incorporating familiar experiences into a party plan, like offering choices and allowing access to familiar, comforting things, can make a big difference in creating a successful and inclusive event. Giving children the option to join in or not helps ease the pressure to participate, which can have a positive impact. Practicing and getting familiar with what to expect ahead of time can also make the experience much more comfortable for everyone.

Creating environments that feel safe

One family described ensuring their child’s party was structured with games that did not involve him turn-taking, winning, losing or big surprises was a real game changer. They decided this was not the environment where he needed to learn these skills, that realistically, processing and tolerating his sensory and social experiences at the party was enough to ask. They successfully had pass the parcel as pass the bag with no wrapped items. They decorated the hall with flags, their child’s special interest, and he was given the task of holding up a flag when music stopped to indicate which area of the hall his friends needed to head to. This amount of movement around him, without the focus of the flags, would not have been tolerable.

Ease anxiety by being flexible, offering roles and opportunities

Offering a clear 'job role' at a social event can ease anxiety and decrease heightened sensory reactions. One child had the best time helping his family with setting out an Easter egg hunt rather than participating in it, another helped to serve the family’s traditional religious festival food, rather than sitting at the table with them. Another family offered their children coloured rice to play with at their festival of colour, instead of the traditional powder paints, because they knew this was a texture their child found intolerable. All these changes demonstrate flexibility in terms of expectations and support realistic tolerance levels and there for inclusion.

Takeaway tips

• Knowledge is power: know your guests
• Share timetables and plans in advance
• Be mindful of strong sensory connections
• Provide for sensory responses
• Offer structure
• Keep familiar items and experiences to hand
• Where appropriate, offer clear job roles and opportunities

Further information

• Lynn Kern Kogel and Claire LaZebnik Hidden Strengths
• Cathy Wassell Nurturing Your Autistic Young Person www.autismparentingmagazine.com > Lets Party: Celebrating Without the Stress www.koriathome.com > Sensory Friendly Birthday Party Tips