Bedtime Strategies for Neurodivergent Children

Plan a routine and reassure your child

Establishing a consistent bedtime routine is one of the most effective ways to support your child’s sleep. Neurodivergent children often benefit from predictability and may need additional time to process changes. Try for a screen free hour before sleep to help them wind down. Create gentle transitions using music, timers or visual representations, these small, predictable steps can reduce anxiety, support understanding, and help your child feel more prepared for sleep. 

• “I am safe and protected”
• “I am in control of my thoughts and feelings”
• “I am loved, no matter what”

Work on the senses

Creating a sensory-friendly sleep environment is key to helping neurodivergent children feel calm and settled at bedtime. Try a relaxing scent, calming music, with proprioceptive input. Some children may benefit from hand eye coordination activities if they are able to focus, while others might find comfort in quieter, sensory wind-down activities. Where possible, work to their natural body clock to reduce the frustration of not being able to fall asleep, changes to sleeping patterns can be introduced gradually over time.

Sensory-friendly environment

Make your child’s environment as soothing as possible. For example, don’t have too many toys in their bedroom or too many bright colours. These things can overstimulate, which can not just add to anxiety, but also create it, especially if your child has sensory issues. Calming, neutral and pastel colours can create a soothing environment. Think about sensory issues, too. Is the room at a comfortable temperature? Is the bedding too warm, or a texture that your child may not like? Do the curtains provide enough light blocking, as a dark room will help with melatonin levels when it is time to go to sleep? Would white noise help soothe your child, such as the sound of a fan, maybe? Nightlights can also help provide reassurance to children who do not like their bedroom to be completely dark. Also, avoid using your child’s bedroom as a place for a time-out, as this could lead your child to have a negative relationship with their room.

Creating a sensory friendly sleep environment is just as important as supporting your child’s sensory needs during the day. If your child has sensory needs during the day, they’re likely to have them at night as well. 

Reasonable adjustments

Your child’s room should be dark, a small night light that can be left on all night is the most light they should be having, this is to help keep the melatonin levels as high as you can to help them fall asleep and stay asleep longer. Consider how their lying in bed, the clothing they wear, and type of pressure of the bedding they are using.

White nose might be able to soften external sounds around them. Airing the room, lighting the same familiar scents, and refraining from changing bedding and pyjama detergent can also help.

Getting them into bed

We know getting your child ready for bed can be a challenge, try to make the bedtime routine as relaxing as possible. You may have successfully helped them wind down, but when it comes to teeth brushing, hair brushing and getting changed, this may be too much for them. During this stage, if you know something will trigger your child, find a different time of day to complete this task, if possible.

Bedtime stories

Some children love a bedtime story being read to them by a parent, others will baulk at the close physical contact. Instead, they may like to listen to a story on audible, they may want to read on their own or just play with a fidget toy. Go with the bedtime routine that feels right for your child.

Anxiety

An anxious child is not a child who will go to sleep easily, so it is important to implement solutions that are within our control.

Some anxiety is developmentally normal, fear of the dark, monsters, or death, however, they usually grow out of this. Other anxiety is more long standing, such as school, family, social demands, sensory overwhelm and more. There are a few strategies we can try at home to support your child through these. Try creating a plan and stick to a routine, familiarity equals less anxiety, use visual timetables, plan for transitions such as turning the TV or iPad off. It may be useful to arrange a time to talk about things that are bothering them, away from the bedtime routine, this gives them time to process their thoughts without associating it with bedtime.

Make sure your child is not hungry, as hunger can raise anxiety levels. A good nighttime snack is a banana as it contains magnesium, potassium and tryptophan, which promotes melatonin release. Approach anxiety as a family issue, so your child does not feel singled out, and your whole family will benefit from a calming environment.

Sensory stress

Supporting your child’s sleep starts with reducing sources of sensory stress in the evening. Avoid activities that cause sensory stress, implement relaxation techniques to feel calmer in bed. A calm parent doesn’t transfer stress to a child, as a parent, you need to look after yourself as well.

Some families find comfort-based strategies helpful, such as playing a familiar bedtime story on repeat throughout the night. This can offer a sense of company, helping your child feel less alone in their room.

Gradual retreat

Strategies such as gradual retreat can also be beneficial, slowly removing yourself from their room can help create independence. Start by staying in their safe place, then gradually move to a chair, over time place the chair further away and then try sitting just outside of the room, finally move to verbal check ins. We understand this transition can be tough, it is important to remain consistent, calm and move at your child’s pace.   

Try having photographs of you and your child in a frame next to the bed, offering them a visual reminder of your presence.  A loved teddy to care for at night can also be helpful, but ask them to return it to you in the morning to alleviate the unknown fear that they’re not going to see you the next morning.