How To Support Night Time Anxiety

Predictability and consistency can be extremely reassuring when someone is feeling anxious. Having soothing scripts, meaning consistent things that you can say to your child to soothe them, can be really beneficial, as not only will the calming words bring comfort, but the predictability of the scripts will signal to your child that this is a safe space and they are not alone. The scripts can offer reassurance, support, whatever suits your family and the situation, it is the consistency that is key. Comfort objects are also really helpful. These can be a favourite cuddly toy, a comfort blanket or even a key ring. Let your child choose what this object is, and they will come to associate it with safety.

Make your child’s environment as soothing as possible. For example, don’t have too many toys in their bedroom or too many bright colours. These things can overstimulate, which can not just add to anxiety, but also create it, especially if your child has sensory issues. Calming, neutral and pastel colours can create a soothing environment. Think about sensory issues, too. Is the room at a comfortable temperature? Is the bedding too warm, or a texture that your child may not like? Do the curtains provide enough light blocking, as a dark room will help with melatonin levels when it is time to go to sleep? Would white noise help soothe your child, such as the sound of a fan, maybe? Nightlights can also help provide reassurance to children who do not like their bedroom to be completely dark. Also, avoid using your child’s bedroom as a place for a time-out, as this could lead your child to have a negative relationship with their room.

We can’t always stop our children from experiencing anxiety, but we can find ways to help minimise it. A nightly consistent routine can be very beneficial for a child who suffers from anxiety; consistency in itself can reduce the potential to experience anxiety. Some calm time together, reading books to your child or telling stories, is a good way to create a calm environment. A warm bath, not too hot, is also a great way to soothe anxiety. Make sure your child is not hungry, as hunger can raise anxiety levels. A good nighttime snack is a banana as it contains magnesium, potassium and tryptophan, which promotes melatonin release. Approach anxiety as a family issue, so your child does not feel singled out, and your whole family will benefit from a calming environment.

Even with all of the strategies in the world, unfortunately, your child may still experience worrying thoughts. This is where our words and presence come in. Listen to your child and stay present physically and emotionally if they voice their thoughts, and provide reassurance, but don’t shut them down. Never judge your child for how they may be feeling, and don’t belittle their thoughts and worries. Show them respect and that you care about how they are feeling. Let them feel heard and talk about any worries they may have with them if they are willing to enter into a discussion, sometimes just verbalising and sharing worries can lessen them.

As mentioned, consistency can be reassuring and soothing for someone who experiences anxiety. The use of mantras (also known as affirmations), and routine, reassuring phrases is an excellent way to provide consistency, as these can be used wherever you are. You can say mantras together with your child and encourage them to say them when they are starting to feel anxious. Some helpful mantras are:

Anxiety is a part of life for many of our children, but we, as parents, can support them through things and make their worlds a little lighter.